


Typical Conversation

by jaradel



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Conversations, Dialogue-Only, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-05
Updated: 2013-09-10
Packaged: 2017-12-25 17:49:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/955959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaradel/pseuds/jaradel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A typical conversation between Sherlock and John leads to another conversation that changes their relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was something I wrote as a dialogue-only exercise a while back. I'd forgotten about it, and just found it today, so I thought I'd post it. Un-beta'ed, all mistakes are mine. 
> 
> I started this as a one-shot with the first chapter. Then I started writing a follow-up, and it got angsty, and it turned into a fic that was nearly 1895 words, so I tweaked it. This is now my entry for Challenge 4 of Let's Write Sherlock on Tumblr.
> 
> I may make a Conversations series with this and "Photographic Evidence", and add more dialogue-only fics. Watch this space.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John has some news for Sherlock, and in the course of talking, Sherlock tells John something unexpected.

“Sherlock.”

“…”

“ _Sherlock_.”

“Mmm?”

“I can’t understand you when you mumble into the back of the sofa.”

“I said, ‘yes?’”

“Could you turn over please? I don’t feel like talking to the back of your head.”

“I don’t want to turn over. I’m comfortable. Or I _was_ , until you insisted on having this pointless conversation.”

“It’s only pointless because you refuse to give me your attention so that I can get _to_ the point.”

“Fine.” *fwhump* “Better?”

“Much.”

“Waiting, John.”

“You’re not half impatient, are you? Fine. Harry called. She’s moving to Birmingham, asked me to help her.”

“So go help her move. Not like you need my permission.”

*sigh* “I was letting you know as a courtesy. Not that you’d notice if I were here or not.”

“Nonsense. I always notice when you’re not here.”

“Oh really? So why do you talk to me when I’m not here?”

“Helps me think.”

“So do nicotine patches. You could talk to the skull.”

“The skull doesn’t answer back.”

“I should hope not. But neither do I when I’m not here.”

“Yes, but I know, in most situations, how you would typically respond. By filling in your responses I can talk my way through a problem.”

“Well if you can predict what I’ll say, why do you keep me around?”

“Don’t be silly. I don’t keep you around.”

“Charming, thanks.”

“I don’t mean like that. It’s not about me keeping you around, it’s about _you_ putting up with _me_ and not leaving. And given the choice, I’d rather talk to the actual you than the you that’s in my head.”

“But if you already know what I’m going to say, why bother talking to me?”

“Because you continue to surprise me. Most of the time I can predict what you’ll say in response to me, but sometimes you surprise me and say something completely different, oftentimes leading me down a previously unseen path and ultimately to the right answer. I only talk to the you in my head when I have no other choice.”

“Wow – that might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Oh I don’t know about that – I _did_ call you a conductor of light.”

“Yes, and then proceeded to clarify what that meant by insulting my intelligence.”

“I said you weren’t a _genius_. I never said you weren’t intelligent. In fact I would say that you’re the most intelligent non-genius I’ve met.”

“Thanks, I think.”

“You’re welcome.”

“We’ve veered way off topic.”

“I daresay our tangent was more interesting than the original conversation.”

“Right.” *sigh* “So I’ll be gone for a few days, helping Harry get settled in.”

“Ugh, _dull_.”

“Yeah, ta, I’m not exactly looking forward to it myself. But she is my sister, so…”

“I didn’t mean that your trip will be dull – well, actually, it will be, and I predict you’ll come home a day early as a result – I meant that it’ll be dull here while you’re gone.”

“Sentiment, Sherlock?”

*sigh* “I suppose so.”

“Gosh, you sure do know how to make a man feel needed.”

“Don’t be so melodramatic. You are _always_ needed, John. I’d be lost without my blogger.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John's been thinking about something Sherlock said offhandedly. When he asks Sherlock about it, what he learns changes their entire relationship.

“Sherlock?”

“Mmm?”

“What did you mean when you said, it’s not about you keeping me around but about me putting up with you and not leaving?”

“Exactly what I said. You put up with my eccentricities and I haven’t driven you away yet. Obvious.”

“Are you trying to drive me away?”

“Why would I try to drive away the one person who tolerates me?”

“I dunno, it was the way you said that you hadn’t driven me away yet, as if you’d been trying to and I was too stupid to notice or something. Never mind. Forget I asked.”

“John.”

*sigh* “What?”

“You’ve been thinking about this for a while. We had that conversation two weeks ago. Why bring it up now?”

“I just… it was the way you said it that day. Like you were expecting me to leave you.”

“It is highly probable that you _will_ leave me one day, John. Your dating history suggests that you are – or at least were – looking for a woman with whom you might settle down, at which point you would move out.”

“Fair enough, but by the same token, isn’t it possible that you could get tired of having me as a flatmate, and ask _me_ to leave? Seeing as you found the flat first and most of the stuff is yours.”

“I already answered that.”

“When?”

“When I asked you why I would try to drive away the one person who tolerates me.”

“Mrs. Hudson tolerates you. More than tolerates. She treats you like her son.”

“Mrs. Hudson would never be able to handle living with me, nor would I want her to.”

“Alright, well, other people tolerate you. Lestrade, Molly.”

“Neither of whom I have any interest in as a flatmate, and both of whom can only tolerate me in small doses. There is no one in this world aside from you who has the patience and the strength to deal with my eccentricities.”

“So what you’re saying is, I’m the only person who tolerates you enough to live with you.”

“I suppose so. You are certainly the only person with whom I would ever consent to share lodgings.”

“Have you ever ‘shared lodgings’ with anyone else?”

“Not willingly. My brother, roommates in school and at university.”

“So I’m the only person you’ve lived with since university. Not a very large sample size, Sherlock.”

“I don’t need a large sample size. I have you.”

“But you can’t say for certain that I am the only person who tolerates you enough to live with you if you’ve never lived with anyone else.”

“Why do I need to know if I could tolerate anyone else when I’m already living with the only person with whom I’d ever want to live, for the rest of my life?”

“What did you say?”

“You heard me perfectly, I’m not saying it again.”

“No, I mean that last bit, about me being the only person you want to live with for the rest of your life – do you really mean that?”

“Of _course_ I meant it, John. Why would I say it if I didn’t mean it?”

“…”

“….Not good?”

“No, no, it’s – it’s good, it’s very good. It’s just – God, Sherlock…”

“What?”

“Sometimes you say things, and you say them so matter-of-fact like you’re reciting a grocery list, but they’re these profound statements of friendship, and – and _sentiment_ , and you just – toss them out there like they’re completely unimportant. I just…” *sigh*

“John? Are you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah… just–“ *deep breath* “I don’t know what to say.”

“It was not my intention to upset you.”

“That’s the thing, Sherlock, you _didn’t_ upset me.”

“The evidence suggests otherwise. There is a tremor in your voice, your cheekbones and the tips of your ears are flushed, you’re experiencing shortness of breath, your eyes are reddened and appear glassy--“

“Yes, alright, I don’t need a blow-by-blow description of how I look when I’m trying not to cry, okay, Sherlock!?”

“…”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

“I don’t understand why you’re trying not to cry if you’re not upset.”

*sigh* “Because….” *deep breath* *clears throat* “Because the fact that you want to spend the rest of your life with me is perhaps the most profound and meaningful thing anyone has ever said to me. And yet… from anyone else that would have been a declaration of love, but from you it was a simple statement of fact, as if you’d told me what time it is, and I don’t know Sherlock, I thought I was looking for the right woman to settle down with, but after all we’ve been through, I think I’ve already found the one person I want to spend the rest of my life with, and that’s you, it’s always been you, and I never thought that you felt that way… but you don’t really, do you? Feel that way, I mean. You just – I’m a thing in your life that you’re used to, that you’ve grown accustomed to having around, and maybe you like me a bit, but it doesn’t mean anything to you when you say you want to spend the rest of your life with me-“

“John-“

“–because you can’t possibly have _feelings_ for me, it’s just – it’s a business partnership to you, an arrangement of convenience-“

“ _John_ , please stop.”

“…”

“Take a deep breath. Alright. Now if you’re quite finished with your existential crisis, I have something to say. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“John, you’re being ridiculous.”

“I _knew_ it, bloody fucking hell, I’m sorry, I’ll just-“

“ _JOHN._ Stop. Do not say another word until I finish. I will likely never say any of this ever again, so it is _very_ important that you listen very well now, and remember every word I say. Now. Don’t say anything. Just nod if you understand.”

“…”

“Alright. As I said, you’re being ridiculous. You are far more than a business partner to me. You are not just some ‘thing’ I keep around because I’m used to you, and this isn’t an ‘arrangement of convenience’. I know precisely what it means to say that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. It is as important to me as it is to you. It is not just some carelessly tossed-off fact like the time of day. You _know_ me, John. You know me better than anyone else in the world, even better than Mycroft. You’ve seen me at my best and at my worst, you’ve killed for me and put yourself in harm’s way for me, and I’ve done the same for you. And yet, after all we have done together, after all we have _shared_ together, I don’t understand why you think that I am incapable of having feelings for you, because the truth is that I _do_. I do, and I have done, since the night you said “that was amazing” instead of “piss off”, and they have only grown stronger and deeper over the years to the point where the idea of being separated from you is enough to make me physically ill, and if it actually happened, it would probably kill me. In point of fact, it nearly did.”

“Sher-“

“I’m not finished yet. It is very important that you understand this. I don’t do _feelings_. I don’t do sentiment, or birthdays or anniversaries or tokens of affection or terms of endearment. I never have. They get in the way, they distract me from the work. No, stop that – _look at me_. This is the most important part. _You_ , my dearest John, you are the exception. You have been the exception since our first case together. Since you quite literally saved me from myself. You are the exception, always you, _only_ you. You are the most important person in my life, and I want you to stay with me for as long as I am alive.”

“…”

“I’m finished now, John.”

*sigh* *deep breaths*

*mutters* “This is why I don’t do feelings, I always misinterpret or make the situation worse, I never say the right – _mmmph!_ ”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“Well – that, uh, that was – um – unexpected. But – but good. Yes. Very good. Um. Can we do that again, John?”

“Obviously.”

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to follow me on [Tumblr](http://jaradel.tumblr.com%22) for fic updates, fandom stuff, and other random musings.


End file.
